Oh, hell, I figured I'd do something....

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you. 02. I will then tell what song(s) reminds me of you. 03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be... 04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you. 05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you. 06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of. 07. I will say what you are "most likely to" do. 08. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you. 09. Put this in your journal.

Sterk

1.  Yea, you're probably my best friend, which is surprising because your taste in movies is...atrocious.  I mean, honestly, the only movies we can watch together are Van Damme movies.  Actually...I'm cool with that.

2.  We're heading to Venus (venus)....

3.  3:50 P.M.

4.  Republican

5.  I too would like to say Jelinek decking Schlemmer, but I wasn't there.  So I'll say the time you told me that story.

6.  JCVD

7.  Die by the age of 45.  You'll either finally succumb to wounds sustainted while eating those cookies during high school.  Or you'll be assassinated because of your radical right wing agendas.  Really, it could go either way.

8.  I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how a relatively sane and sensible person like yourself can still be a fan of the Chicago Blackhawks franchise.

My friend Mark wrote this on my facebook wall.  Enjoy.

What is that picture Demko, more las vegas fear and loathing? hot damn man, i think you got a crush on that movie, and one day you is gonna make babies with it and watch old reruns of funniest home videos and masturbate while your movie wife aint watching, cause you know that fear and loathing doesnt put out, all it does is take and take and make YOU clean the dishes and wash the soap out of your nose from that time you thought it was crack, the same crack that bill gates sold to the mexican nation because he told them it was microsoft, but they knew you couldnt download porn onto crack microsoft, unless it was in the shape of an pair of scissors...LEFT SCISSORS! that's where shit goes backwards and the pluto bastards stop milking our women...THAT MILK IS FOR ME, BITCHES! i use it to water my lawn so it looks kinda yellow, but actually it's not dead grass, just milk grass, and all the cats eat it and i get to throw rocks and superballs and old lawnmowers at them cause hell, they dont belong on my lawn and they should know damn well better. i actually kill all animals on my lawn, especially mastadons, those damn bastards always trying to kill the cats i attract for batting practice, i am gonna play for the yankees! but i wont accept their big ass paychecks, i am gonna tell them that hey, i can win them games, but money dont buy you a sexy ass unless your in cali, and then the yankees will say ok and i will hit 104 homeruns in a season, 22 in the 3rd game of the season, because we are gonna be playin the royals and that team couldnt win a game if maury povich had a show where the whole team found out that they WERENT the father. maybe that would snap it into their heads that iraq just dont give oil to royalty, even if it's kansas city royals-ty, that you actually have to earn the oil with blood and sweat and dr phil therapy sessions.......stupid iraqis. that's why they didnt win the war on terrorism, cause the hashbrowns i made for breakfast just werent crisp enough, and i even used honey mustard sauce for dippin my chicken mcnuggets to save the earth. i know it's bad then, but luckily sweet and sour sauce can be used to change the oceans to cottage cheese so i can finalls swim in cottage cheese, and screw the whales, what have they done for us? they have been big, they have been fish eaters, and they ate my grandpas 1988 buick skylard....bastard whales. but seriously, who the fuck parks in the ocean and says "a whale wont eat this", and then one actually does!? only my grandpa, who also won world war two with his two bare hands, just like mcgiver destroyed godzilla in the little known 6th rocky movie, cleverly titled "ROCKY 6: ROCKY IS OLD". i own it on dvd, the extra features are outta this world, they have an alternate ending where will smith poops on rocky's chest and then burns the american flag with a fire that he starts by lighting a fart. but then rocky gets him back because rocky finds a baseball bat in the alley and somehow he and mcgiver make a bomb out of it, and they put the bomb on will smith's lawn and put a note on it that says to please not insert into ass, cause they KNOW will smith would do something like that and then blow his ass to pieces....only in the wild wild west man, only in the wild wild west, sicka sicka. i bet they had to edit out the part of wild wild west where they accidently disrupt marty mcfly from getting back to the year 1985, and then doc actually has to make a new time machine out of that giant spider machine, but instead of going forward in time they go backwards and that is how dinasours died. that, and a rock to the brain cause doc also invented the slingshot...that smart bastard. i am so jealous....

Handsomerussianprince's official Xanga status:  Updated.

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Sterk, get off my back.

Well, it's been awhile.  Here's some random musings from the Life O' Demko...

1.  The Illini Basketball team lost today.  Though deeply saddened I am, all should be glad that the team's first loss did not come in the National Championship game, else Demko would've walked into the cornfields never to be seen or heard from again.  Unlike Sterk's empty ocean threats, I would have actually done it. 

Anywho, when informed of the team's loss by a reporter, Bower said, "Only one loss?  On the football team, we don't stand for that kind of incompetence.  I can guarantee you that we will have more losses than that."  Bower was then informed that losses aren't good to have, at which point he yelled, "No more questions!" then struck a Heisman pose and left the room.  Rumor has it that he's busy recording his own version of a Numa Numa video.

2.  Demko did not see the game because he was reffing.  Halfway through the first period two kids came at me, one with his stick raised rather high.  Needless to say, I lost my fight with the hockey stick.  I fell to the ice, blew the whistle, and needed a few moments to gather myself.  One of the coaches was quite considerate and had ice and advil waiting in the scorer's box in between periods. 

During the second game, a youngin came up to before a faceoff and asked, "Were you the ref who got hit in the face with the stick?"  Yes, I answered.  "Did it hurt?" he asked.  My response:  "Nah.  It tickled."

I have a minor cut a bruised eye to show for it.

3.  Friday was unofficial St. Patricks Day, just an accuse to drink in the A.M. without being called an alcoholic.  At my speech comm lecture, the professor showed us ads for something called Johnnie Walker, which turns out to be a brand of whiskey.  At the end of the lecture, a drunkard behind me screams, "Do you know Johnnie Walker?"  The professor calmly replies, "No, but my father does.  He's good friends with him."

4.  Two items of interest from my Spanish TA, who is a graduate student from China (yes, my spanish teacher is Chinese).  Firstly, when asked if something was going to be on the test, he answered, "Probably, but I doubt it." 

Secondly, one day he randomly informed us never to give a clock to a Chinese person as a gift because he or she will think that you want him or her to die.

5.  The Llama Song.  'Nuff said.