Today, I happened to stumbled upon Bower's Xanga once again.  This time I noticed how under "About Me," Bower states the following:  "Does anybody want a boyfriend??" 

Firstly, I couldn't help but notice Bower's incorrect use of grammar.  Fortunately, I got just the person to help him out with this.  And the same person could just as easily help him out with the "being a boyfriend thing"--my roommate, Adam Terese.

For those who haven't read my email or who don't know the story, though I have yet to obtain official confirmation (which I am not seeking), I suspect my roommate of being a homosexual mostly due to his acute obessions with fashion and the ole time television show Full House.  Oh, he's also watched Gilmore Girls over the World Series and kicked me out of the room to do so (sidenote:  the only reason I agreed was so I could spread the story of how he did this).

Anywho, I think Bower and Ty Reese would make a lovely couple.  I mean, looking at it through Bower's eyes (which is a disturbingly frightening, I don't reccomend trying it), he's done basically everything there is to do with the opposite sex.  Well, maybe he could try aluminum foil, but I doubt that would be comfortable.

Wow, I'm probably overestimated how good that line is, but I'm totally loving it.  I was going to write more, but I know I won't be able to top that.  And on that note, I'm out.

Friday February 11, 2004...the new greatest day in the life of Michael Demkovich.

Why?  You ask.  It was brought to my attention that my hero (not Clint or Billy, my other hero) Brad Bower has created a facebook profile.  I had looked numerous times in the past, but alas, his profile was not there.  Immediately, I sent a request to be his friend.  My prayers were answered, and he accepted.

Some things of interest.  Brad Bower is a Leisure Studies major.  Note to Bower:  YOU ARE NOT GOING TO THE NFL.  It is time to pick a real major, not that you'd actually be able to pass any classes in it anyways.  One glance at his favorite movies list yields nothing that requires an I.Q. over 75 to enjoy, which is apt because Bower's I.Q. is most assuredly under that number.  Under interests he lists "spooning" but "experimenting with saran wrap" remains conspicuously absent.  My favorite part of his profile is under the Quotes section.  Instead of quoting some wise scholar or famous politcal figure like Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, or Tarantino, Bower instead lists, "Oh Shit," as his only favorite quote.

Indeed, Bradley Bower.  Indeed.

So I had a class on Ole Time Radio Drama tonight.  Yes, before you ask, this is most definitely a blow off class.  All we do is listen to a couple shows, feign a five minute discussion on each and move on.  Pretty nice.  It's like a course tailor made for The Man himself, Bradley Bower.

Interestingly enough, a fellow HC alum, Dustin Ward, is in the class with me.  During a break in the class, one of my U of I friends asks me if Dustin is one of the QBs on the football team (I think one of the QBs last names' is Ward).  I told him no and but that he did go to my highschool.  And that someone from my high school actually is a QB on the football team.  "Who is that?" he asked.

I looked at him with shock and said:  "You've never heard of Brad Bower!"  My friend then began to apologize profusely.

You see, due to his ridiculously amazing football playing abilities, it had become common folklore that Bower had materialized out of thin air.  Just one day, he walked out of the cornfields and onto Memorial Field were he has lead the team to billions of football victories.

And by billions, I mean a lot.

And by a lot, I mean one...it's still a lot for us.

Anywho, due to this widespread belief in Chambana, my friend simply assumed that he did not attend high school.  I feel that it is my sacred duty to allow this legend to continue.  For if I let die, I feel that Chambana would lose its very heart and soul. 

My friend promised never to tell anyone, and neither shall I.  Godspeed, Bradley Bower.  Godspeed.

This evening I went with a friend to the Football Signing Day Celebration featuring our new football coach Ron Zook.  The even was scheduled to begin at 7 but was delayed due the Zook communicating with would-be recruits.

Three things were wrong about this:

1.  The filler material.  Unfortunately the cheerleaders and band did not know the coach's unavailabilty and were doing dances and playing songs as if expecting the coach to run out at any second.  Other filler material was interviewing "home grown" local talent.  One of the athletes had this to say, "We want to show that Illinois is not just a basketball town."  Hate to break it to you, but Illinois is a state, a school, and most definitely not a town.  I had to double check to make sure he wasn't Bower.

2.  I would have hoped that Zook would have wrapped up his recruiting by this point.  Instead I was forced to wonder how many other schools passed on the one or two recruits that were actually seriously considering attending U of I to play football.  I'd guess 11 (interesting fact:  that's the number that Bower believes is reffered to as a "baker's dozen").

3.  Ron Zook is being marketed of the Messiah of the Illini football program.  Schedules feature his lovely mug on the cover.  Posters were handed out that featured him and exactly no actual players.  The scoreboard read. "2005:  The Ron Zook Era Begins."  I voiced my disgust to my friend, who told me that he was a "decent" coach.  "Yes," I told him.  "If by decent you mean he takes great teams and makes them decent, then you're right."  A Messiah, Zook is not.  Besides, Messiahs are typically on time.

Once he did arrive, Zook showed all the fans why indeed he ended up with our football program.  God bless him for trying, his sentences were almost coherent.  Amidst his stammering and studdering, I longed to hear someone more intelligent speak.  Someone like Brad Bower.

As luck would have it, he did.  Zook decided he had about enough of indulging the meager fan base and handing the mic off the starting QB, Brad Bower.  Bower then told the fans the team's three goals for 2005 season.  First, beat Michigan (who isn't on our schedule this year).  Second, win the Rose Bowl by a minimum of a "bagillion" points.  And third, to invent ray guns that would be able to reduce the opposing team to ashes, and, thus, give the Illini a 50/50 shot at beating them.  Bower designated himself in charge of that project.

Yes, Bower Power is back...what else is there to write about?

So I'm sitting at my chomputer in Chambana last night, and Nardo IM's me and is bitching about how Roddick is doing well and how much he hates him.  Naturally, I then declared him to be my favorite male tennis player (since we all know that Maria Sharapova is still numero uno).  Nardo then resorted to some cheap jabs about Peyton Manning.

Now Nardo was insulting one of my heros, and this I could not allow.  I did what any man would do if he had my kind of powers and were in my situation.  I said to him:  "I will not shave until Roddick loses a match!"

It worked for the Red Sox, it damn well better work for Roddick.  (Now I'm sure Amanda hates him as well.)